...And They Shall be Called CT’s

 

            In the beginning was the word, and the word was passed when the earth was without organization or field day. And God said, “Let there be light”, and there was light. And God separated the light from the darkness, and he called the light Day and the Darkness Eve and Mid. And God saw the Day and the Eve and the Mid and Saw that they were good.

            On the second day, God created the earth and the seas that covered the earth and the heavens over the earth. And God saw that the earth and the seas and the heavens and saw that they were good, except for some crummy spots in isolated areas of the earth. And God had the idea. God said, “Let there be little square buildings in those crummy spots and surround them with poles and wires whose name shall be called Wullenweber.” And God looked at this creations and saw that it was about what he had expected.

            On the third day, God created men and women and placed them on the surface of the earth and everywhere on earth there were men and women, except for those few crummy spots where all refused to live. And God said, “Let there be a special kind of man and woman to live in those spots, and let them speak a strange language and tell none what they do”. And God created these people and told them “you shall be called CT’s and you will think of yourselves as having special abilities and favor in my sight.” Devious are the ways of the Lord.

            On the fourth day, God was awakened early by a great noise. And God saw that it was the CT’s calling his name and crying that they had nothing to do. And God spoke to them and said, “Arise and go into the square buildings where I have set for you many wondrous devices covered with a multitude of knobs and switches. And you shall spend your days listening to the music of the heavens.” Saying this God gave unto them the combination to the door that they might safeguard it and live in peace and harmony.

            On the fifth day, God created the birds of the air, the beasts of the sea and every variety of plant and animal that liveth on the face of the earth and God moved upon the earth and heard a great grumbling and complaining from the square buildings of the CT’s. “We are to many” They said, “and cannot all fit at once into the place which you have made for us!” God saw that they were indeed too many and divided them in four parts, that one part might work the Day, one part the Eve, and one the Mid while the remainder might rest and tend to their families. And he gave unto them a watchbill inscribed on a tablet of brass that they might know their proper turn and then God saw that the sun had passed the zenith and he had the second idea. God said, “Let there be ROPEYARN” and a great cheer was heard from the CT’s within their square building for they had witnessed the birth of a Naval Tradition.

            On the sixth day, God was putting a few finishing touches on his creation when once again his peace was interrupted by the loud noise of the complaining from the CT’s, “Oh Lord” They said, “We keep the hours that you have set for us, but still find dissension and strife in our midst. We know not which of us is to turn which knows or who of us should change the light bulbs.” And God said unto them, “I will make of you a number of branches, and give each a special ability that will separate it from the others and again bring peace and harmony to the earth.” And God divided the CT’s into six branches and called their names “Tamori,” the ancient word for “Makers of Trouble.” “Your name shall be Tamori,” said God, “Which standeth for “Those able men and women of rare intellect.” Thus did God create the acronym and other Naval Traditions. And God saw the CT’s at their new functions and saw that all was going smoothly, and God said, “It’s about Time.”

            On the seventh day he rested. At the twelfth hour of the day, there again arose a great noise from the square buildings of the CT’s and God called his angel “The Bringer of Light” to his side and spoke unto him, “I am in the midst of crating football games and wish not to be disturbed. Go thou to those CT’s and their problems.” An Lucifer said, “Aye Aye Sir and departed from heaven to the earth.